Should the Virgin Mary ever appear in a mirror near you, the Crone implores you to put the details on the internet, pronto. This will not only help bloggers eager to write about your shiny shrine but will also allow you to make the most of your miracle, marketing-wise. The Crone has spent an interesting evening in Itchy Ankle with Weatherman Sam and his new love, Wild West Laura. The two are in town for Thanksgiving and arrived with a miraculous story to share–sadly unverifiable as the faithful have failed to tag it so it can be tracked down in cyberspace. Anyhow, Sam, who was raised in Mexico was talking to a friend who owns a hotel. The hotel employs a chambermaid who had a very sick daughter. The chambermaid was going about her duties one day when the Blessed Virgin Mary (BVM) appeared to her in a mirror. Spotting an opportunity, the chambermaid prayed to the Virgin and, lo, her daughter was cured. The chambermaid, understandably, tried to steal the mirror but was caught ripping it from its rawlplugs and so was forced to share the story to keep her job and stay ahead of the law. The room is no longer available at rack rate but now has a nun on the door to collect the takings as locals and visitors line up to pray to the Virgin in the Mirror. If you, like the Crone, have waited a long time to see a virgin staring back at you, you may want to investigate this story further…
Wild West Laura, it turns out, was raised on a ranch and knows a lot about meat. During the evening the conversation centered on livestock and the various ways to slaughter and serve it. The Crone knew she was outclassed when Laura confided ” I don’t much like venison–just deer jerky”
Laura and her daughters used to take part in carcass contests at fairs in California. First, you show the animal “on the hoof”, then off it goes to the abattoir (“you can go on the slaughter floor”) and then back comes the carcass to the fair where it is hung and judged upon, among other things, color, firmness and marbling. Laura and her girls, and of course their sheep and cattle, won prizes for lamb and beef ” We never cracked pork” she confided sadly “it’s a matter of genetics”
The Crone, ever competitive, wonders if she should invest in couple of Saddlebacks and Old Spots and see if she could do better–or maybe a better route to riches would be to discover Our Lady in a Looking Glass?
Learn more about carcass contests here.