There has been a Christmas crime wave in Itchy Ankle. As previously reported, the Crone’s Christmas Fairy was badly roughed up, and the star from the top of the Christmas tree is unaccountably missing. It turns out that other homes were also affected: Peggoty’s stained glass angel lost her celestial trumpet, and her balsa wood reindeer were maimed and left for dead.
Chief suspects are the 2 wise men who have absconded from the Crone’s manger and are believed to be on the run and armed ( A shepherd’s crook? A camel whip? the pitchfork from the stable? ) and extremely dangerous. Peggoty’s not one to point fingers but she believes she saw the two lurking by the community beach, perhaps hoping to hitch a ride via mail truck or crabbing vessel, but of course she can’t be sure. Harrumph. The Crone believes you can be too politically correct in these matters and has no such compunction when it comes to pointing fingers. After all, how many men in bejeweled turbans does one see in Itchy Ankle?
Anyhow, if you are offered frankincense or myrrh this holiday season, take the Crone’s advice and steer well clear–you’ll be handling stolen goods.
And as for the Crone’s nativity, well, she’s advertising for a couple of replacement Kings but don’t hold your breath: it seems wise men are in short supply this season, as every day in Itchy Ankle.
Rembrandt: The Adoration of the Magi
(An artist’s impression that may help in the search for the wanted men)