The Crone has always wanted to be one of those people who have a comfortable, welcoming home. The kind of place where the door is always open, the hearth is always warm, and there is reliably something reassuringly moist and home-baked just waiting to be sliced and eaten. In fact, her house is usually kept at a chilly 68 degrees ( my dears, it’s toasty for the menopausal), the living room is usually littered with one or more of Gretel’s socks (mismatched, worn, crumpled and carelessly discarded) and the cupboard is too often found to be bare ( ” We just haven’t got to the shops yet” or “No-one in this house drinks tea/takes sugar/knows how to bake” are oft-heard excuses). This weekend however, the Crone cracked it. It’s not that she has suddenly become more hospitable, or managed to unleash her inner Martha Stewart: rather she has at last found her ideal guest, someone capable of making herself completely comfortable no matter how bleak the surroundings.
On Saturday afternoon the Crone and Gretel arrived home to find Hansel pfutzing about in the front yard and his hottie quite at home in the house. Tucked up on the sofa with Gretel’s comforter, she was using the Crone’s computer and looked up from the screen only to wave a cheery hello. She stayed there for the rest of the afternoon, taking off with Hansel in the early evening. Hugs and kisses all round and, from the Crone, exhortations to come back soon.
On Sunday morning, the Crone awoke about 7am and, on her way to the bathroom, discovered that Hansel and the Hottie had reappeared in the dead of night and were tucked up on the sleep sofa, stretched out across the living room floor. Both were gently snoring. Hansel arose shortly afterwards and made himself generally useful. The Hottie stayed in bed but finally reached a hand from under the covers to grab the laptop. She then spent the morning catching up with her correspondence while around her the business of the day continued. Some time after even Gretel arose, the Hottie assumed the upright position and she and Hansel took off for the city just as the Crone began to cook some lunch around 2pm.
” Don’t you think that’s weird?” said Gretel, retrieving her comforter from a pile of bedding in the living room” I couldn’t be like that with other people’s people”
“Look on the bright side” said the Crone ” she is obviously a very relaxed, comfortable person and she must like us otherwise she wouldn’t feel so cozy here” “Harrumph” said Gretel, and put her cover in the wash.