Dear Doris Brazil,
Based on your blog, the pace of life in Appleton Marsh is much the same as that enjoyed in Itchy Ankle. Together the two towns could celebrate almost nothing happening. While Itchy Ankle does not boast its own women’s outfitters, or even its own charity shop, we do have a store or two selling blood worms, a full service garage and a party store with cut-price balloons. In other words, lots of opportunities to make your own fun.
I realize that you may find it necessary to know more about our humble hamlet before you could commit Appleton Marsh to a long term cross-Atlantic partnership. You and Flo would be very welcome to visit. I don’t have my own Parker Knoll but the Blarney abode offers a great deal of wing-chaired comfort. As my sister, the Cackler, has pointed out, with just a whiff or urine it could pass for an old-peoples’ home.
My pouffe, of course, is also at your disposal. You’d be wise to bring your own Toffifees but our local coffee shop does sell excellent peanut brittle, and Peggoty always has a wine box on the go.
Thank you for considering this request. Here’s to a long and enduring partnership between Itchy Ankle and Appleton Marsh.
The Blarney Crone