Living with Disappointment

The Crone will admit to being a little crushy on Doris Brazil, for the Crone has a long history of looking up to much older women with a lot to say for themselves.

As a child, the Crone’s idols were Barbara Castle, Val from Blue Peter, Esther Rantzen, and Anna Raeburn when she was the agony aunt at Woman magazine. (For American readers, this is like loving Senator Mikulski, combined with Katie Couric, Maureen Dowd and Naomi Wolf) Now, the Crone fancies she has Doris. This, you understand is not a crush in the sense that Ellen Degeneres might look up to Eleanor Roosevelt–for a start, Doris is very much alive, and the Crone is not as good a dancer as Ellen.

Whatever the motivation, the Crone finds much to admire in Doris Brazil. Sartorially challenged, she yearns for a mentor who can help her match her separates and work out the best color and cut for her clothing. Who better than a successful ladies outfitter? Doris’s attachment to her Bissell and her hostess trolley also indicate that she is wedded to kitchen equipment from the 1950s-70s and of course the Crone devotes her entire weekend to sourcing this sort of stuff at Itchy Ankle yard sales.

Could probably do with a once-over with a feather duster. But some of us don't have Flo at our beck and call

If only the Brazil Bissell could get under the Crone's kitchen table

The Crone's granny's butter dish, now very much at home in Itchy Ankle

As regular readers know, the Crone’s heart leapt when she got Doris as far as Co-Operative Travel to check out safe passage to Itchy Ankle.  She stocked up on Croft Original and took a girlish pleasure in boil washing her dish clothes and upgrading the handtowels and investing in matching linens for the put-you-up. Cushions were plumped, rugs were vacuumed and blinds were straightened. Since then, nothing. It’s like the time the Crone sent her play to Blue Peter expecting Val to insist it be performed for the Christmas special, with the script reproduced in the Blue Peter annual. A bitter, bitter disappointment.

They never asked for the publishing rights to one of the Crone's early works--but she bought the annual nonetheless. At the Co-Operative, as it happens. In the sale after Christmas. With dividend stamps

About Liz Barron

US Peace Corps Volunteer in Armenia. Permanent address in Washington DC. Deep roots in Northern Ireland and persistent Belfast accent. Blogger,cook, mother, grandma, Scrabble-player and enthusiastic world traveler.
This entry was posted in Crone as fashion icon, Crone as Pen Pal, Culture with the Crone, itchy ankle, junk, Tales of a Belfast girlhood, yard sale, yard sale finds and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Living with Disappointment

  1. Doris says:

    My dear Blarneycrone,

    Such kind words from afar. Let me assure you, the admiration is entirely mutual.

    As I type my heart is all of a flutter. Surely this is how it must feel for those desperately lonely women who correspond with murderers on death row. You and I have made a connection and if it wasn’t for our age difference, which is substantive, then a civil ceremony might be on the cards.

    Just imagine the resources such a union would have thrown together… my Bissell and hostess trolley, your darling kitchen chairs and butter dish, my Goblin teasmade and your plump cushions. I could have opened a branch of Doris Brazil Ladies Wear in Itchy Ankle while Flo took care of the European Division. We might have based ourselves in Itchy Ankle and taken our holidays in Appleton Marsh.

    Alas, back to reality. I did go into Co-Operative Travel to enquire about flights to Itchy Ankle. The travel agent suggested I fly to Washington but then the sterling-dollar exchange rate makes this option prohibitively expensive. We did look at budget airlines and we established I could have flown one-way with Air Serbia for just £149; but this was to Veracruz and it seemed a long way to ask you to come and pick me up.

    Rest assured Blarneystone, I shall keep looking for an affordable fare and in the meantime I remain a devotee of your wistful musings.

    Health and happiness to my soulmate and intimate inmate.


    Doris Brazil

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