The Crone will admit to being a little crushy on Doris Brazil, for the Crone has a long history of looking up to much older women with a lot to say for themselves.
As a child, the Crone’s idols were Barbara Castle, Val from Blue Peter, Esther Rantzen, and Anna Raeburn when she was the agony aunt at Woman magazine. (For American readers, this is like loving Senator Mikulski, combined with Katie Couric, Maureen Dowd and Naomi Wolf) Now, the Crone fancies she has Doris. This, you understand is not a crush in the sense that Ellen Degeneres might look up to Eleanor Roosevelt–for a start, Doris is very much alive, and the Crone is not as good a dancer as Ellen.
Whatever the motivation, the Crone finds much to admire in Doris Brazil. Sartorially challenged, she yearns for a mentor who can help her match her separates and work out the best color and cut for her clothing. Who better than a successful ladies outfitter? Doris’s attachment to her Bissell and her hostess trolley also indicate that she is wedded to kitchen equipment from the 1950s-70s and of course the Crone devotes her entire weekend to sourcing this sort of stuff at Itchy Ankle yard sales.
As regular readers know, the Crone’s heart leapt when she got Doris as far as Co-Operative Travel to check out safe passage to Itchy Ankle. She stocked up on Croft Original and took a girlish pleasure in boil washing her dish clothes and upgrading the handtowels and investing in matching linens for the put-you-up. Cushions were plumped, rugs were vacuumed and blinds were straightened. Since then, nothing. It’s like the time the Crone sent her play to Blue Peter expecting Val to insist it be performed for the Christmas special, with the script reproduced in the Blue Peter annual. A bitter, bitter disappointment.