I am hoping you may be able to share some insights from the Appleton Marsh real estate market with a friend of mine recently retired from an executive position in London. She worked for the BBC and all that “nation speaking peace onto nation” and educating, informing and entertaining has taken it out of her. Reithian values are all very well, but for non-Presbyterians, they can be taxing. Anyhow, the long and the short of it is that she aspires to something a little quieter and I feel Appleton Marsh would be ideal.
Might you perhaps recommend an estate agent who could help her find something where vicars cycle by, where people are always popping round with scrumpy or clotted cream, and where the beer in the pub is reliably warm? I think she’d really appreciate it.
I would suggest she buys a summer home in Itchy Ankle but, as you can see, the snow has taken its toll on many of our finest properties and besides, she’s fonder of clotted cream and a nice cup of tea than she is of crabs and cold Miller Lite, the staple refreshment in these parts.
I think you’d like her. She loves shopping and has a keen eye both for a bargain and high fashion. Perhaps she could be the first to sign up for a DBLW credit card? She’s also a talented writer so a fashion review in the Cheriton Bishop Courier might not be out of the question.
Talk of fashion brings me to the seasonal subject of Easter Bonnets and a rather excellent photo album another friend from the UK introduced me to this morning on a Facebook fan page for Rocks, Frocks and Cocktails I assume you have cornered the millinery market in Appleton Marsh and so, at this time of year, it really has to make sense to have both an online and a shop window display showing off your stock. Select those with wide enough brims and Flo could be your internet model—no need to see her face.
I bought a rather jaunty chequered fedora while in Puerto Rico but it seems absurdly out of place back here in Itchy Ankle. Sadly, my days in the sunshine are but a fast receding memory. Last night the mercury plummeted below freezing and, as the central heating was still on the blink, I needed a woolly night cap rather more than a sunhat. A burly man came to fix things this morning. Always a pleasure. It was a burned out fan apparently. Well at least something in Itchy Ankle has been living life at full tilt…
Anyhow, it’s all better now and for less than $300–about 200 of your British pounds.
Stay warm, write soon and have a Happy Easter, Blabs