Mark my homework Doris!

 

Dear Doris,

So impressed am I by your Brixham and Crimewatch haikus that I thought I’d give the form a go myself. Strange as it may seem, Japanese poetry never made it on to the high school curriculum in Belfast in the 1970s, and so I am a stranger to the clever use of 17 syllables. Of course we have lots of excellent Irish poets, both dead and living. But, as ever, I learn at your knee, and would be grateful if you could give me your feedback on the effort below. As you can tell, our set-up today in Philly went swimmingly–meaning I have time this evening to pursue the arts–well at least until I find a cable channel with a Law and Order marathon.

Philadelphia

Posh hotel. Tuxedoed men

Bring us fine red wine.

This woman gives thanks.

Fitting from Franklin’s city 

He liked his drink

And food. Do not look for his

name signed on the

Constitution. Not on there.

Off flying a kite

en France with les femmes.

Would have said avec

But not a choice for Haiku.

Shame, it seems to me.

About Liz Barron

US Peace Corps Volunteer in Armenia. Permanent address in Washington DC. Deep roots in Northern Ireland and persistent Belfast accent. Blogger,cook, mother, grandma, Scrabble-player and enthusiastic world traveler.
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One Response to Mark my homework Doris!

  1. Doris says:

    Bravo Blabs!

    I applaud this, your first foray into haiku. Ireland has produced some marvelous poets who have written some very funny limericks down the years. And it seems that haiku comes naturally to you Blabs. I was genuinely moved by the kite metaphor and almost shed a tear; only haiku can do this. In a twist reminiscent of the Sixth Sense, I really didn’t see the French kite flying coming. I gasped at your audaciousness!

    Yours,

    Doris

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