“People are murdered all night long in your room” said Gretel disapprovingly, and I’m afraid she is right. As befits a woman of a certain age, I have developed an affection for Discovery ID (in truth, the only Discovery channel I have ever made an appointment to view) and so I fall asleep to the sound of sirens and start from sleep several times a night to discover bodies under sofas, wrapped in rugs and buried in the back yard. The fact that I am always bathed in sweat is more to do with my hormonal imbalance than the night terrors and I am glad to have the bed to myself : it is always the husband what done it. But there are bonuses: I wake every morning to the face of the medical examiner looming large, and there are not many people who can say that.
“My children will not have a TV in their room” said Gretel piously. ” I sleep much better now I don’t have one, and I read more”
I scowled at her, wondering how we have managed to swap personalities and personal preferences in eight short years. I used to read her a story at bedroom and leave her in the quiet darkness with Harry Potter playing softly on CD. I used to change into PJs when I went to bed and get out of them when I woke up. I used to be able to say no to fried chicken. These things used to be hard for her, and at some point I gave in and adopted her ways. Now I am a poster child for bad habits, and she is a pin-up for Parenting magazine. Talk about a change of life.