Position Vacant: Marketer. Salary: 1000 calories a day and all the exercise you can handle

The Duke Diet and Fitness Center is cutting back on its weekend services, a victim, it says, of the economic downturn. It is expensive to be sure–about $10k for a month, not including accommodations when I was there enjoying the facilities seven days a week–but I promise you it is worth it. A month at the clinic last summer turned around my life and I am now nearly 55 lbs lighter than I was last July.

I then recommended that the clinic find a nice fat marketing expert who they would commit to paying largely in calorie controlled meals and access to the pool. (oh that beautiful salt water filled pool…). It seems that they chose not to heed my excellent advice (something that seems to happen all too often, and not just in the diet industry). If they had added any marketing savvy to their wonderful medical, fitness, counseling and dietician staff, they would surely be able to find enough fat people in America to fill the clinic week after week. People who would then write about it later in glowing terms as I have done.

If you are overweight or worse please think about Duke. Don’t just think about it–run there as fast as your pudgy/ulcerated/underused/all of the above legs will carry you. It’s not like the Biggest Loser—nobody yells. The food is delicious and Amanda in the kitchen is all the sweet treat you’ll need. Above all, it works. And I want it to be there when I go back for a tune-up and to swim again in that glorious pool, so do it for me if you can’t do it for yourself. (this is targeted messaging–a lot of we fatties are pleasers).

If Duke followed my advice (Hah!) they will have a google search alerting them every time they are referenced on the web–a sensible thing for every individual, organization and business to do–and they’ll know I am rooting for them. Find that fleshy marketer guys, and good luck and see you soon.

About Liz Barron

US Peace Corps Volunteer in Armenia. Permanent address in Washington DC. Deep roots in Northern Ireland and persistent Belfast accent. Blogger,cook, mother, grandma, Scrabble-player and enthusiastic world traveler.
This entry was posted in diet, Exercise, fat, Fat Camp, overweight and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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