John, Paul, George and Ringo seemed too archaic and uncool, although I was shocked to find I could not summon up names for more contemporary 4-piece bands. ( How many members are there of One Direction?) North, South, East and West seemed too dull. I decided on Ulster, Munster, Leinster and Connaught, inspired by the beautiful Lincoln Green tail sported by one of the fish. Each one was a jewel.
The goldfish were half price because the garden center is simplifying its stock in preparation for winter. Scott assured me that ours would make it through the cold weather. “Feed them once a week until the weather is below 55 degrees for a month” he advised. “They won’t eat after that. If the pond freezes over, just crack a hole in the ice with a mallet so the gases can escape. I can sell you a mallet.”
The Handsome Prince had set up the pond with a pump, and thus a stream to circulate oxygenated water. The pool was clear, with just the right number of water cabbages floating–a perfect home for our new and beautiful pets.
This was last Sunday. An inspection of the pond this morning reveals that all of Ireland is no more. My dedicated viewership of Discovery ID allows me to state with confidence that the time of death was probably Sunday night. Decomposition is advanced, and Connaught is a lot more green than he used to be.
I suppose this means we will have to clean out the pond and start again. If Charlie Dimmock is reading, or if any of you have pond maintenance advice, please send it right along. I am not sure I can cope with any more loss. I hope the Handsome Prince will ride by today. I have a bucket at the ready.