My son has embraced a new Facebook trend and turns out to have a talent for it. In the last week, he has posted:
I am so DC I remember dat if u had 3 buckets and 2 sticks u had a party
I am so DC I remember using the [bus] transfer for 6–pass it back or out the window
I am so DC I remember da [dude] in the firehat use to walk up and down with his radio
I actually remember dat dude myself. He was tall and skinny and frenetic and usually wore only a wifebeater and some skinny sort of long lycra shorts. In my memory, he was often on roller blades but since Hansel didn’t mention those, perhaps I made them up. The dude used to carry his boom box on his shoulder and race along the streets of the city, blaring his beats. Haven’t seen him for years, and his story probably didn’t end well.
Hansel is DC through and through and has often been forced to point out what a misfit I am in the city of his birth. He is right.
I am so not DC I eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
I am so not DC I have never eaten at Ben’s Chili Bowl
I am so not DC I would never think of playing jump rope with a telephone cord
I am so not DC I have never run through a fire hydrant fountain on a hot summer day
I am so not DC that if I was homeless I wouldn’t have the sense to panhandle by a steam vent in winter
I am so not DC I have never stood in line to pay respects to a dead person in the Capitol
I am so not DC I never used a coupon at Hecht’s.
Belfast now, that’s another matter. I can do Belfast.
I am so Belfast I got served in the Bot when I was 14
I am so Belfast, I remember when Pottinger’s Entry smelled of pee
I am so Belfast, I bought all my books from Gardner’s or Mullen’s and had never heard of Waterstones or Borders
I am so Belfast, I remember the layout of Robinson and Cleaver and Anderson and McCauley
I am so Belfast my brother wanted me to click with one of the Stiff Little Fingers so he could get free concert tickets
I am so Belfast I used to be a wee doll
I am so Belfast my hands still smell of rust from the birlie roundabout at Lady Dixon Park
I have more. I have so many more.