Category Archives: Crone as Casualty

Kitchen Drama

It is leftover night. I chopped the last red onion–the only onion in the house–and sauteed it in vegetable oil. Poor thing, its salad days were over. I added two grizzled italian sausages, cooked, that have been languishing in the … Continue reading

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No Legover and Mounting Frustration

“Were you raised around here?” I asked, gesturing widely.  It is bad enough to know the beads you are buying were mined in Michael’s without learning that your roadside reservation jeweler is an art student from Park Slope. “My mom … Continue reading

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Tectonic Trouble in Itchy Ankle and environs

 Earthquake update: I was in the bathroom when the 5.9 struck and so braved a small personal tsunami while others were evacuating the building. Now back at work and fearing the commute home. Here in DC we don’t cope well with … Continue reading

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Belly ache

I woke up in some discomfort and the feeling persisted all day. The large white area known as my stomach was sore. I tried to diagnose the problem without the aid of medical staff at the Duke Diet and Fitness … Continue reading

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Where are the Lifeguards?

The Cackler is claiming salvage rights since she hauled me off the rocky bottom of the savage sea this afternoon. She says she will sell my rusting, sunken carcass to the Chinese for scrap unless I agree to do her bidding. She … Continue reading

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Lovely Day Petunia

We’re safely back at the Tranquility Pool after a near-drowning incident at the beach. The Cackler was supine on the sand after a long walk this morning when I decided to trust to the tides and enjoy a short swim. The beach … Continue reading

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Adventures with Lady Godiva

Lady Godiva (yes, she’s from the English Midlands) is making me walk miles every day. She started power walking last year and lost 50 pounds. She is now slimmer than a sixteen year old and every bit as spunky. She … Continue reading

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Drugging, drinking and depilation

I hit the bar at 5pm. “You by yourself? Everything all right?’ said Mano as he tried to direct me to a booth “I’ll sit at the bar”  I said, causing Mano to exchange a worried look with Randy, who … Continue reading

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Itchy Ankle and some others—the News this New Year.

It was just as well Spud Hughes and the Contessa traveled to Itchy Ankle this Christmas because the Crone was incapacitated. Her right wrist, subsequently found to be broken, was useful for very little more than lifting the occasional glass of mulled wine, … Continue reading

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Fork Handles, Frayed Feet and that Christmas Feeling

I am feeling a little frail this Christmas. Something to do with having fallen on the ice and hurting my right hand. (You try wrapping presents without an opposable thumb). I’ve been wearing the same bra for five days because … Continue reading

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